Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
