fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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