you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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