hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
