i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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