I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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