Fine. I'll sleep in my office
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
