i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
