first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize