You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
