I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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