I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
