So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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