My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
