oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize