party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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