It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
