Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She bit a glass in half.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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