I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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