Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
