Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
