I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
only you would photoshop your dick
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
