next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
