I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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