Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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