they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
