brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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