**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ladies don't puke and tell
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
