"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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