I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
As shirtless as possible
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
