I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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