btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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