Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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