Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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