Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
