If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
