why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
