I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
