If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize