I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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