I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
