Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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