i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
