break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
