Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
