He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
