We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
