Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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