i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
