He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
