have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
