that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
