Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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