He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
