You're completely useless in the revolution.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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