i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
