So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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