I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
