Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
