Don't you send me to vm
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
