So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
God, I missed his penis.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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