so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
