He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
