I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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