just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
